An Episode of Violence (487 Words)
Holding the phone to the side of my head, the newest, biggest, best model out, I slur loudly. "I would get a Taxi but I don't know where I am ... no don't worry I've got a hundred and fifty quid on me."
Taking the bait they follow me down the alley, where I mime taking a piss.
The big one, its always the big one, grabs me, spins me around, slams me into the wall.
"Give us your phone and cash and maybe, maybe we won't hurt you .... that much"
This makes the other two laugh.
Dropping the slur from my voice I say " There is three of you, why is there always three of you?"
This throws the big one off and he loosens his grip on me. Seeing my chance I lunge forward, bite and clamp and tear. The sound of bone and cartilage crunching and breaking fills my ears, blood rushes into my mouth.
I push him off me, all of his fight is gone and his hands rush to where his nose used to me and sinks to his knees, screaming.
I turn my attention to the other two, spitting the lump of big one in my mouth at the smallest, it hits him in the face. He turns and runs wanting no part of this madness.
One on one now, we stare at each other in the dim alley, his mate still screaming and throwing the occasional sob in for good measure.
For a second or two I think he is going to run as well leaving me to play with the nose-less wonder.
He obviously fancies his chances and pulls a knife out of his back pocket, gives me the classic 'come on then' gesture.
I Take a step back and drive my boot as hard as I can into the bloody mess of old nose-less' face.
This does two things, it shuts him up and distracts the knife wielding idiot long enough for me to get his attention with a nice sweeping kick to the back of his knees.
He falls to the floor, the knife skitters off into the darkness and I pounce on him, pinning him with my knees on his shoulders. Bless him he starts sobbing, begging me to leave him alone, I give him a few slaps around the face, tell him to man up and accept his fate.
I press my thumbs into his eyes sockets until I feel that satisfying pop.
The noise he makes is quite impressive its not quite a scream, not quite a gargle.
I get off him, kick him in the stomach, tell him to pipe down as I have a phonecall to make.
"Yeah can I book a taxi please? I'm on the corner of Rotherwas street and Broad street ..... ten minutes? Oh that's plenty of time."
I cut the call off and go and look for the knife.