Wednesday

O'Hannigan P.I (500 words)

I told her to meet me on the corner of 32nd and 4th.
My office is downtown. I say office, its a room with a desk, two chairs , a telephone and a hat-stand.
I don't trust any man who doesn't wear a hat.

I'm not one for talking but she asks how she'll recognise me, I say I'll be the one wearing a hat.
I always wear a hat.

I told her to meet me noon but didn't turn up until half past.
If she really wanted to see me, she would wait was how I figured it.
I get there and this broad is nowhere to be seen. I've never set eyes on her but I knew I would know when I saw her.
Sure enough twenty minutes later her limo pulls up, she looks a million dollars.
I look about a buck fifty.

She spies me spying her, walks over, bold as brass, offers me a gloved hand and says
 "O'Hannigan?"
I say "That's me" Because it is.

She says "I'm Melissa but everyone calls me Misty "

I say " O'Hannigan everyone calls me O'Hannigan "
Because they do.

She doesn't know how to take that, few people can handle the cold, hard truth.
So I say "Come on you're buying me breakfast, I know a place that does eggs"

She says "Its almost one in the afternoon, breakfast was hours ago"

I say " Look lady I've just got up, it's breakfast time by my watch"

So we go to Katz, I have the eggs, she has a look of disgust and a coffee.

"Tell me about it then" I say through a mouthful of eggs.

She grimaces, maybe at me, maybe at the story she is about to spin.
I already know this broad is lying, I just need to find out what about.
She doesn't know I know.
She thinks I'm some schlub with three days worth of stubble and bloodshot eyes.

She says how she hasn't seen her husband in days, last she heard he was going to an all night card game at O'Rourkes.
I know O'Rourkes, I know all the slum bars this city has to offer.

I lean back in my chair, not easy when you have a booth, look her in the eyes and say  "He's down in the docks, maybe in a sack maybe with just pocketfuls of rocks but he isn't swimming I can tell you that much."

She looks shocked and stammers "Wha-wha-How?"

So I give it her both barrels.

"You've got oil on your gloves, same oil that made the hand-print on the trunk of the car you came in.
Your driver wasn't wearing a hat and I don't trust men who don't wear hats.
You think you  get O'Hannigan on the case, make it look like you want him found and maybe the cops won't come knocking.
Maybe they will maybe they won't.
Its not my concern.
Now get out of here lady I'm trying to have breakfast."

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