Wednesday

The Fear (362 Words)


He wakes with a start, fear sitting heavy on his chest, cold sweat on his brow. He is close to tears but doesn't really know why. Gently he climbs out of bed so he doesn't wake his still sleeping wife, he pads to the bathroom, closes the door, turns the light on and looks at himself in the mirror.

He hardly recognises the person staring back at him anymore, the bags under the eyes, the weeks worth of stubble, the hints of grey coming in at his temples.
He looks pale and weary.

This has been going on for almost a month now, waking up in the middle of the night, panic eating away at his very being.Nothing keeps this unrelenting fear away, its always at the edge of his thoughts, casting doubt over every little decision he makes.

He has tried drinking himself into a stupor, sleeping pills, even masturbation and still he wakes up at 03:00 feeling like his world is about to end.
"Enough is enough" he says to the stranger staring back at himself.
He switches the light off and goes back to the bedroom, as quietly as possible he pulls a pair of tracksuit bottoms and an old t-shirt on.

He looks longingly at his wife, whispers "I love you" more for himself than her and creeps out.

Downstairs in the kitchen he takes off his wedding ring, his watch and the i.d bracelet he had for his birthday last year. He puts them next to his mobile phone, keys and wallet. On top of this little pile he places the note, the note he has agonised over for days now, all it says is "I'm sorry" 
Two words that say so much yet so little.

He pulls on a pair of running shoes and an old coat. Gives it all a second thought, then feels the snake of fear writhe in his belly again. He opens the front door, steps out into the night and pulls it gently, quietly behind him.
He takes one last look at the house and the life he is leaving behind, wipes the tears from his eyes and walks away.

2 comments:

  1. HEY MAN, I MY REVIEWING METHOD ON BLOGS IS A LITTLE BIT ODD SO LET ME EXPLAIN WHAT I'M DOING HERE.

    ALL MY COMMENTS ARE ALL CAPS. I'M NOT YELLING AT YOU, I PROMISE.

    IT'S JUST THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE MY COMMENTS STAND OUT FROM THE TEXT THAT I'M WRITING UNDER OR IN BETWEEN.

    SO HERE'S THE REVIEW ...

    He hardly recognises the person staring back at him anymore, the bags under the eyes, the weeks worth of stubble, the hints of grey coming in at his temples.
    He looks pale and weary.

    MIGHT WANNA DOUBLE SPACE BETWEEN THE SENTENCES "HINTS OF GREY COMING IN AT HIS TEMPLES." AND "HE LOOKS PALE AND WEARY."

    PROBABLY JUST A TYPO.

    GOOD EFFECT THOUGH, MAKING THE PALE AND WEARY SENTENCE IT'S OWN PARAGRAPH. i DO THAT A LOT TOO.

    This has been going on for almost a month now, waking up in the middle of the night, panic eating away at his very being.Nothing keeps this unrelenting fear away, its always at the edge of his thoughts, casting doubt over every little decision he makes.

    MISSED A SPACE AT "AWAY AT HIS BEING.NOTHING KEEPS ..."

    He has tried drinking himself into a stupor, sleeping pills, even masturbation and still he wakes up at 03:00 feeling like his world is about to end. NO DOUBLE SPACE HERE.
    "Enough is enough" he says to the stranger staring back at himself. NO DOUBLE SPACE HERE. i'M A SUCKER FOR CONSISTANCY, AND BRING IT UP ONLY BECAUSE YOU DOUBLE SPACED EARLIER IN THE PIECE.


    Downstairs in the kitchen he takes off his wedding ring, his watch and the i.d bracelet he had for his birthday last year. He puts them next to his mobile phone, keys and wallet. On top of this little pile he places the note, the note he has agonised over for days now, all it says is "I'm sorry"
    Two words that say so much yet so little.

    HOW OLD IS THIS GUY THAT HE'S GOT AN ID BRACELET? HE'S ONLY A LITTLE GREY RIGHT? MAYBE i DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT ID BRACELETS.



    SO MOSTLY SPACING ISSUES. MAYBE BLOGGER DID IT WHEN YOU TRANSFERED THIS OVER FROM THE WORD PROCESSOR. COPY AND PASTE MAYBE? THAT'S WHAT I DO ...

    YOUR NARRATIVE IS VERY GOOD, YOU FOCUS ON PATHOS. THAT'S AWESOME. IT KEEPS THE STORY HUMAN.

    COMBINE THAT WITH THE ACCESSABLILITY OF FLASH FICTION AND YOU GOT YOURSELF A BLOG THAT I THINK CAN BE QUITE POPULAR.

    I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT. CONDENSING STUFF IS HARD. HARSH CUTS RIGHT?

    HOPE MORE OF THIS STORY IS COMING. I HATE FOR IT TO END LIKE THIS, WITH ME NOT HAVING ANY IDEA OF WHAT'S GOING ON.

    I MEAN, THIS GUY LEFT HIS WIFE. AT 3 AM. SOMETHINGS GOING DOWN. SOMETHING I WANNA KNOW ABOUT.

    NO LAWS AGAINST A FLASH SERIES RIGHT?

    MOSTLY MY REVIEWS ARE STORY BASED, BUT I TRY TO POINT OUT EVERYTHING. I LIKE TO CONSIDER MYSELF THE LOUD GUY IN THE BACK OF THE THEATRE, SCREAMING AT THE CHARACTERS.

    HOPE YOU FOUND THIS HELPFUL.

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  2. Hey Sir,

    Thanks for the comments.
    I write everything at work ... in outlook.
    I get in and open a window and just chip away at it throughout the day.
    Its rare I sit and think "Today imma write X"
    It just all sort of comes out of me, this is where my formatting issues come in and something I really need to work on.
    I'm sort of more about telling the story though, you know?

    I have enough material lined up as drafts until just before Christmas and there is another one in there that carries on from here.

    Next weeks entries all are sort of linked, they aren't exactly chapters of the same story as such but all in the same "universe"

    As for the id bracelet it was more of a way of trying to say that he left with nothing of material value or anything that ties him to this life.

    ReplyDelete