Poison, it's really underrated isn't it? Just think of the times you could have cheerfully battered someone to death and change it so that you kill them and not actually exert any physical effort ~ fabulous.
So, when Bryony finally tipped me over the edge from anger to blind rage I seemed entirely appropriate to start researching ways to make her suffer. I had heard of Belladonna, and although the name was not very accurate, Bryony having all the physical beauty of a moose on heat, I thought it would probably do the trick.
Google must have been invented for people wanting to kill people as it is so easy to find out anything you need. I mean I always thought it was just the berries that were poisonous, but oh no, the roots are the best bit apparently. Being the way I am, it wasn't that difficult to convince the silly cow I had gone all flower flower love child and was only drinking herbal tea and eating grass and shit so when I bunged her a cup of hot water with stuff floating in it, she simply smiled and took a big swig. How she didn't spit it all straight out I don't know, mine really was made with grass and it was bloody awful.
We sat and chatted, whilst I furtively watched for the start of any reactions. I knew that sweating and rashes and suchlike were all part of it, but I honestly didn't know how long it took to attack the system so when, after half an hour or so, she started complaining of having a headache I suggested she went home and lay down ~ didn't want the ugly mare pegging out on my sofa did I?
Later that day I got a phone call from her boyfriend, Lance (he's a twat as well), Bryony had apparently been rushed to hospital with some mysterious symptoms and was currently on life support in ITU. Honestly, my reaction was an Oscar winner, should I go and visit? Was there anything I could do? I was quite proud of myself actually.
2 days later Bryony died ~ the Post Mortem showed she had died from the effects of ingesting Deadly Nightshade. Nobody was more shocked than me, as I told the Police, she had been fine when she was at mine, we had even made plans to go on a Girls Night Out later that week.
The funeral was a big affair, a bit chavvy for my taste, all those flower spelling out words, but there was a good turn out and we had a right laugh in the pub afterwards; my resulting hangover was legendary.
So Bryony is dead and I killed her, that's the basics of the matter. All in all she deserved it ~ No WAY does anyone criticize my dress sense and expect me not to react.