Loco Coco by David Haddock (500 Words)

Today was going to be a good day.
After all, it had to be an improvement on yesterday Mrs Heckles thought whilst stepping off the train with a cardboard box under one arm.

Yesterday had started badly after she'd stayed in all morning to wait for the postman, only to find that her new MaxVac had still not arrived.
'It was supposed to be forty-eight hour delivery,' she had told her neighbour over the fence, 'it's been four days and it's still not here!'
'Did you ring them?' her neighbour had said, asking the obvious.
'Of course I did, I asked what they were going to do about it and they said I could send it back if I wasn't happy – how can I do that when I haven't even got it yet!' she'd  replied feeling her blood pressure rising, 'I asked where was it coming from, Africa? And they told me it was coming from Dumont! Dumont! I could have walked there and back in this time! I bet they've not even sent it, I've a good mind to send a parcel from Dumont and see how long it takes to get here!'
'Maybe it's not their fault? It could have got lost in the post – it does happen' her neighbour had replied.
Mrs Heckles nodded in agreement although what she actually wanted to do was punch her simple minded neighbour in the face. Lost in the post? She was making excuse for them? It was because of people like her just accepting bad service that these companies were allowed to get away with it. In her day, businesses had respect for their customers and forty-eight hours meant forty-eight hours.
Just when she had thought her day couldn't get any worse, she'd noticed 'Coco' – her neighbour's flea bitten parasitic cat slinking amongst her flowerbeds. She swore that it had looked right at her, smiling as it unleashed a steaming pile of poo into her petunias.
 'Oh look Mrs Heckles, coco needed a doo-doo! Isn't she the cutest!' her neighbour had said laughing.
It took everything she had to not claw her moronic neighbour's eyes out there and then. She knew the flea infested disease carrier had done it on purpose, it always did and usually in a place where she would be sure to stand. At that moment, an idea had come to her.

At the post office in Dumont, she placed the box onto the weighing scales and told the man to send it forty-eight hour delivery.
She passed him the box, giving it a sharp tap to silence the feint scratching sound that came from within.
She paid the man and had begun to walk away when he called after her. Her heart leapt and she turned around slowly.
'Sorry I meant to ask, is it fragile?'
'No, definitely not' she replied.
Let's hope it doesn't get lost in the post she thought, smiling all the way home.
Yes, today was going to be a good day.

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