'If you just follow me we shall begin your staff orientation'
He sighs, hes done this before you can tell. He has the look of an HR man who gets a lot of new staff each week, all equally enthusiastic
The room is full of new staff. All in their company issue boiler suits. You turn to the man next to you and joke about being refugees from a Beastie Boys video but he just glares. You write it off as no sense of humour. They usually don't have a sense of humour
The lady at the job centre had said this was the perfect skills match for you. You're not convinced but they took you on, offered competitive pay and conditions, even shares in any end of year profits.
That swung it for you. Share in profit, if anything motivates staff its a kick back
You've already done the psychometric tests and been allocated a department. This excites you although you cant find anyone in the tour group who will be joining you in the 'Games Room' but you've been assured that there will be like minded people to show you the ropes.
'If you can all take a seat on the monorail, we can show you the main operations centre'
As the carriage passes through the tunnels you start to feel a bit nervous. The scale of the company is overwhelming. But everyone is busy, everyone has a purpose, everyone is happy
The operations centre looms large, theres a sharp intake of breath as you pass the giant screen with the man in the middle of the Skype call. He looks nervous, but its all calm at your end so he obviously being shafted in a big deal. This excites you. Profit share...
The monorail stops and the guide asks you to get up. You have reached the 'Games Room'. All of a sudden the nerves hit. What if you cant impress the new team, what if the colleagues hate you?
You walk through the door..
'oh excellent. New blood for the team' five men run over and offer high fives.
'Now, do you want to feed the CIA man to the shark or do you want to man the cutting laser and take Mr Bonds bollocks off?'
Best first day ever …..