Wednesday

Derailed by @NeilSehmbhy (494 Words)


 All day I spent looking for you just yesterday and the day before. Deep beneath the bustle of the train station, I retraced our steps along platforms and tunnels, travelling the route we shared together. If I look closely I can see the mark your shoulder made against the freshly painted wall. I remember how you found time to curse, even as you told me it was over. Leaning over the railing  I scan the crowds, hopeful for a flash of red, a glimpse of your Korn t shirt, or the clack of your heeled boots on the tiled floor. Victoria station where I first saw you, months before I mustered enough courage to speak to you. Once we sat next to each other drinking coffee, knees touching under the table, silent. I told people about the woman on the train, way before we spoke, as if our future was predetermined. For the first time in my life I was grounded, calm. I understood my destination and who I'd be travelling with. One evening you were late, I panicked, almost leaving the train. But then you were there, squeezing in beside me. The spike of your heel stabbed my foot, but as you apologised, our eyes met and the rest was easy. We discovered we lived two streets from each other. That evening as we emerged into the bright sunshine, the world was bright, not grey. My heart raced and my hands trembled as I hared up the stairs to my flat.

"Guess who I spoke to today?" I gasped.

My flat mate, Jenny, rolled her eyes.
"Don't tell me, the girl on the train?"

My phone beeped as I nodded.Jenny winked. "That'll be her now."

Checking my message, you'd text "Hello you! xxx."

We fit together seamlessly, and met each others family and friends. It was amazing. Jenny moved out and you moved in, 'our place' we called it.

I never realised, anything had changed until you told me. I didn't notice the late nights or believed there was someone else, but the signs were there, even if I ignored them. I marvelled at how beautiful you were even as you spelled it out for me, my back against the wall, your eyes distant.
You were leaving.Out of town. With him.

Even then, I didn't want believe it.That was the last time I saw you.

I keep coming here, expecting you to walk straight past me. I imagine you, unchanged. Unlike me. I sit on the bench nearest the tunnel, the same as I have everyday beneath the map of the underground. A loose corner of the poster on the wall opposite flaps in a rush of stale air as the tannoy sings out the approach of the next train.

Without hesitation, I rise and jump onto the line. Just as I did before. One day I'll find you and take you with me. Together,  forever like we should be.

No comments:

Post a Comment